As January draws to a close we start thinking about the next event on the calendar – Valentine’s Day. Those in healthy, happy and rewarding relationships may start planning in excited anticipation. However, those who find themselves single this Valentine’s Day may feel more daunted than excited. And yet, is being single on Valentine’s Day really the worst thing that could happen? Would it be preferable to be in a relationship where the love has gone, the respect is fading and both of you are going through the motions?
Being single on Valentine’s Day can be tough. Whether it’s the first time in a long time that we find ourselves in this situation or we’ve been here for a while. All those cuddly toys, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and beautiful bouquets are enough to make us want to move to a remote corner of the globe, well away from the romantic symbolism.
No, no, don’t book your ticket just yet. You can get through this, and possibly even enjoy it, by gaining a new perspective. Being single is not a punishment; it’s an unexpected gift from those who were not worthy of us to remind us of our innate beauty, value and resilience. An opportunity to do the things we love, invest time in our own wellbeing and move ourselves to the top of our list of priorities. If you are struggling to get behind this, here’s a few things you won’t have to do this Valentine’s Day:
Spend hours trying to source the perfect gift.
Make bookings at over-priced restaurants because it’s expected.
Rush to M & S before they sell out of their Valentine’s Day meals for two.
Secure a baby-sitter when they’re in extremely short-supply.
Keep your eye on the time because you need to get back for the dog.
Make the best of a relationship where you are not loved, valued or respected.
When we’re single we get to choose how and with whom we spend Valentine’s Day. We have the option of spending it alone indulging in our favourite things or simply not engaging at all. Being alone does not have to mean lonely, sad and rejected. It can mean independent, happy and empowered. Ultimately, whether we experience Valentine’s Day as a happy, ordinary or miserable day depends on the narrative we choose. The stories we tell ourselves have a profound impact on our outcomes so it makes sense to pick wisely.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Round up all your single mates and plan a fun night out – a comedy club is ideal as research on laughter suggests that it boosts mood, reduces stress and strengthens the immune system.
Buy yourself a gift: get a new haircut, a new outfit, a massage, a gym membership, get your nails done or whatever does it for you.
Invite a friend round for dinner/pamper session/games evening
Curl up on the sofa with your furry friend and your favourite drink and watch a good movie (I like Under The Tuscan Sun as it has a good mix of sorrow, courage, humour and hope in a beautiful setting) but there are plenty of other good ones.
Crank up some good tunes and remind yourself that you do not need a significant other in order to be happy.
Have an early night! Your mind, body and spirit will thank you for it and when you wake up it will all be over.
It is worth remembering that the most enduring relationship is the one you have with yourself, get that right and the rest will follow. So, this Valentine’s Day give yourself some love, honour who you are and celebrate your brilliance. You are most definitely worth it.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Comments