A fundamental part of finding our way through a break-up or divorce is taking action and yet, especially in the early days, this can be one of the most difficult things to do. Emotional exhaustion, lack of clarity and fear of the unknown all conspire to keep us rooted in our despair, looking for ways to manage the pain and making choices that, all too often, work against us rather than for us.
Wherever you are on your own journey, be kind to yourself, know that you will come through this particular storm just as others have done before you. Celebrate every success no matter how insignificant it may seem. Remind yourself that each new day brings with it an opportunity to move closer to the life that you want – you can write your own story you do not need to be a character in someone else’s book. One day effort will be replaced by drive, eventually enthusiasm will take over, the sadness will lift and you will be flying!
A few things that may help you on your way:
An Accountability Partner – This is someone with whom you can discuss your action plans and check-in with periodically to help ‘keep you on track’. You need to pick someone who is compassionate and will hold you accountable rather than someone who will simply commiserate with you indefinitely
To-do lists – Some people love these and get a real buzz from ticking things off and some people hate the mere mention of them. They are not for everyone and the key to using them successfully is making them manageable – be realistic with the objective and the time-frame for completing it. You may like to have two on the go, one for short-term objectives and one for longer-term goals.
Make a Start – It can be really difficult to get moving when you feel totally overwhelmed by what’s going on around you but the reality is that staying put will most likely add to the overwhelm and keep you stuck for longer. Start slowly, take small steps and commit to doing something every day, as you pick up momentum you will find that things become easier and eventually you will start to take control of the situation and become unstoppable
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